All good things time

'The more I practice, the luckier I get'

They say that patience is a virtue, but sometimes we just want something now! I guess that's one of the greatest thing that we have to learn from music. That all good things take time...and perseverance...a lot of patience...and a lot of hard work!

Sometimes it can be very frustrating when we have to wait on others for our dream to take the next step closer to being realised. It shows that we do actually need other people to get where we want to go, even if it means that it may take longer to get there. It will probably end up being far better than we could have imagined, and hence, worthwhile in the end. The most important thing, I am learning in this instance, is that we have to stick to our guns and continue to play our part to the best of our ability. It can be tempting to either give up or just get incredibly frustrated while waiting for things to happen. But learning to overcome these feelings and remember the long term goal is what is necessary. 

Innate or habit?

As a teacher of many different age groups I have noticed a trend with all of my students, while playing a piece, that they should have practiced. When they make a mistake, they almost always want to go back to the beginning and start again. It can sometimes be a bit frustrating as a teacher, but I have been starting to analyze why this is such a trend. I do teach my students how to break down pieces when they practice, I also give them a new piece or sightreading most lesson, so that they become used to reading new music, but they all want to start at the beginning if they make one little mistake.

So, my question is, is it an innate thing that makes us want to have perfection? Or is it habit as human beings to strive for perfection, and so once you have made a mistake you need to wipe the slate clean and start again?

For those who are not musicians, the reason this can be a problem when playing through a piece or sightreading, is that it is important to move on and keep playing music even if you make a mistake. You might do so while performing one day, or playing with a band, and you certainly can't stop and go back and fix a mistake. Yes, while learning, you can then go back over the parts that you don't know so well, but that is a different exercise in itself.

The in-between state

I firmly believe that change is as good as a holiday, but as we say goodbye to our old home, we are not able to move directly to our new place, so the change feels delayed. Now that we are staying with my parents, I am able to focus on my current state of being, rather than just focusing on the next step and moving forward. While I was secretly dreading this in-between stage and had hoped to avoid it, I realise that it has been the most healthy thing for me, to stop and reflect on where my work journey and home life is going. It has been most refreshing. 

I am a doer, I dream and then I do my best to move in the direction I feel that dream is taking me. So it has been hard to have to stop and not feel like I am moving forward with our new venture, and having to wait has proven to be tougher than I thought.

The reflecting aspect has meant that I can see the dream in a broader context. I have been able to put certain things into perspective, but most significantly, I have felt affirmed that I am heading in the right direction in order to achieve my goals.

The most exciting thing however, is to see how much support I have had from both my students and friends, and the fact that my students are eager to get started with lessons again, proves to me that I am fulfilling my role with what I am actually offering as a music teacher. It tells me that my core roll in this industry is meaningful and worth something, and that is the nudge I have been needing to propel me to the next level. 

Self-employed? Do you have a pension fund?

I am so blessed to have people in my life who have been so great in advising me how to look after money. It's my husband, mostly, who is incredible at helping with these things. Life after a full-time job means NO PENSION fund. So you leave your job and you get your pension payout. As tempting as it may be to want to live off that money, especially not knowing if you are going to be getting any the next month, I was advised to immediately put that money into my own 'pension fund' savings. Apparently I can't teach music 'till I'm 90!?

In fact people are retiring earlier and earlier these days, and in truth 65 is a long time away. I'm sure by that time, know one will be hiring granny for that cocktail gig. My hearing won't be as sharp for teaching and I might just be tired of telling kids to use their left hand on top of the recorder instead of their right. Not to mention other potential things that can go wrong in life, not to be negative, but life can be expensive (and it's not getting any cheaper), and not having provisions for your future can make life difficult when you get there.

So, my questions to you, if you are working for yourself are: do you have some sort of pension fund or shares? Have you got some kind of medical aid or hospital plan? Because even though you might think it's costly to have those things now, it will make your life a whole lot less stressful when you need them. 

I have been currently living from month to month this year, because I have not known if I would earn enough to cover the expenses I was paying for last year. While my husband works full-time, we have a bond to pay, and the knock of a salary can be quite stressful when you aren't sure if you are going to make it through the school holiday months. I'm not moaning here, God has been good to us, it's just that I know that it is not always easy to save if you aren't getting a little 'extra' every month. I'm just trying to point out that if you are not thinking about your future, even just putting away a R100 a month (or more or less), then maybe you need to get on with it! 

Disclaimer: Please note that the picture in this blog does not belong to me.

How is business? An update.

It's only May and so much has happened, so far, this year. I feel blessed beyond belief at how I have managed to get extra work here and there that has helped us make it through each month. So how is my music school going? Well, I wouldn't say that business is booming, but I have 6 committed students so far and I absolutely love teaching each of them. I am doing a lot of 'experimenting' with advertising, as I do want the business to grow. In the meantime, I have been able to make the room look a bit more like a teaching room with a music white-board. The board makes the room feel bigger, which I think is great. 

While I do want to get more students, I also still want my students to feel that they are getting the best lessons possible and so I have to make sure that I do not over-commit to other work or in other areas of my life. I don't want to seem tired or distracted. With that being said, however the school where I work at part-time has offered me a bit more work for next term. I can't say what it is yet, but I am super excited. Also, with there being so many holidays in April and with examinations coming up, I realise that any extra income makes a huge difference.

So, do I have any regrets so far about going freelance? Not at all! While I certainly miss my students and working with such lovely people (especially two very special friends I made while there), nothing can make up for the peace that I have in my life now. I go to bed every night and wake up every morning without anxiety. And I sleep really well! I don't have this ever-present sense that there is something that needs to be done, or worse that there is something that I did not do correctly. Of course there are still things in my life, my school teaching and my business that need to be done, but I feel like I'm more in control of my life. I feel like I can do things and then tick them off and then relax. It really has made me so much happier, like an elephant of a weight has been lifted off me and I have bounced back into being human again and not just coping. Now I know this might sound ever so dramatic, but I really believe that you have to be a special kind of person to work full-time. Regardless of what school it is at which you are working. There is no perfect job, but I think in life, you have to weigh up what it is that you and your family need or want. One thing that I really want to live by is words from one of Switchfoot's songs "I want to thrive, not just survive". This is such a beautiful mantra, and yet it sparked much turmoil in me when I was still debating whether or not to go on my own. I think because there are so many people out there who have nothing and that I should be grateful for having a good job, and good opportunities. But the more I seeked council, prayed and debated what to do, the more unhappy I was in what I was doing and the bigger my desire grew to do other things. I came to realise that in this state, I was useless to anyone. 

My one friend told me that God puts dreams on our hearts and that it can then only be a good thing to pursue them. So I prayed and prayed that if my desire was purely selfish, then it would go away, but it grew. Now I look back and I am so pleased for all the amazing people in my life who have supported me in this decision. I feel that I am thriving because I am able to connect with people again and that is the biggest blessing ever. I have truly amazing people in my life, and it feels so good to be able to hang out with them and appreciate them.

Being forced to work part-time at a school and supplement our income has been incredibly rewarding. I have met so many people. I think it has also been very healthy for me to get out of the house (since my private lessons are held in our home). I also filled in at the school for a full-time teacher, which was really nice because I was able to get to meet more of the staff.

I have joined the UCT Wind Ensemble and Windworx. Both have allowed me to be challenged and stretched but the best thing is that I am loving playing again.

I have also done some temp teaching at Pinelands North Primary School, which is the most delightful school ever. I have never felt so welcome at a school in such a short space of time. The students are lovely there and the school is so friendly.

I did an in-house commercial shoot with Old Mutual, which was quite an interesting experience and I played at a wedding in beautiful Stellenbosch.

My husband and I have been able to go to Betty's Bay over weekends without having to worry about me marking papers or having to be at rehearsal.

I feel like I am just rambling on now, but all-in-all things have been going well. I am happy with the way things are now and I am excited for things to come.

Dear future adult student

Dear future adult student

I have found that adult students can occasionally be the worst kind. Why? Well, when parents send their children for private lessons they are reliable. They get their children to lessons on time, the children usually practise, are enthusiastic and want to be at the lessons. The parents pay on  time (at the beginning of each month) and mostly let you know in advance if their kid is going to miss a lesson. In short, the parents are organised. Perhaps it's because they believe in the system (one-on-one private lesson's, where your child get's undivided attention by a music specialist) or they really value their child's education or they respect that you are running a professional business and act accordingly or all of the above. Either way I, personally, have only had good experiences with children as private students.

Unfortunately, (and this is not all my adult students) but the general feel is that adult students have a very different outlook. Please note that I am not venting here, just trying to put things straight. Somehow, I have discovered, adults feel that the same 'rules' don't apply to them. When I was a student I used to teach privately too, but I was very relaxed about how I conducted my business. Now that I reply on this business as my livelihood (and I have my degree and work experience), I have to protect myself in the business sense. So I ask all my students to sign a contract. In this contract it clearly states that you need to commit to a term of lessons and that you need to pay for lessons on or before your first lesson of every month. I am upfront about how much I charge (it's even on my website) and I give my students the choice of how long they want each lesson (I offer three different options). I don't charge for the first 'lesson/meeting' so that we can discuss everything that the lessons will entail, they can ask any questions and they have the option of taking home the contract to brew on it. There is no pressure. But once a person has signed the form, I assume that they have at least skim-read it and gauged and idea of how things work.

So, if you are an adult, have never played an instrument, or it has been too long and you really want to start again, here are some things to think about before you call up a teacher.

• Learning an instrument takes time. You can’t ‘fast-track’ learning an instrument unless you can already play another one and you can read music already. But even then, you still need to put in the time and effort (this means regular lessons and practice/play).
• Your goal is usually far more advanced than you are (hopefully, at least) but this means you need to be patient in getting there.
• The above comment also means that you need to listen to the guidance of your teacher/tutor. Sure, do more than what is asked of you. No teacher will be upset about that! But don't skip out the important things, like long notes and tonguing exercises for wind players.
• Music lessons are a bit like having a personal trainer, you get individual attention, but if you don't keep it up, you won't get fitter.
• Music lessons are a bit like buying a dvd contract in that you have to pay up front before taking home a dvd. 
• Music lessons cannot be on a 'pay-as-you-go' basis. This is because teacher's rely on teaching as an income. If you have not paid in advance and then don't pitch up at the lesson, the teacher looses out on your lesson as well as any other potential student that they could have taught during that time. Most teacher's want the student to succeed and are quite understanding if the occasional 'something' comes up. If you let them know in advance they usually allow you to move it to another day.
• Although music requires a lot of discipline, the pay-off is worth it, there is nothing more rewarding that achieving your goals, and it can be a lot of fun. Alternately that is the idea isn't?