Letting go

There is nothing more difficult for a teacher than to see a student struggling over a piece just before an exam. When you have gone through it with them in so much detail, and they have made every effort to take on what you have said and to practice really hard and yet still they can't quite achieve what is expected. It's at this time when you as a teacher have to let go. You have to know that you have done your best, and so has your student. And you both have to trust that they will do the best that they can, because they really deserve to do well. It's also when you have to realise that making music is not about perfection, it's about expression, and when your student has discovered music in their late 50's, it goes without saying that this student has found a new way to express themselves. That in itself is beautiful and inspiring. It reminds me that that is why I teach. To assist other people to be able to express themselves through music. This is what makes it worthwhile.

All good things time

'The more I practice, the luckier I get'

They say that patience is a virtue, but sometimes we just want something now! I guess that's one of the greatest thing that we have to learn from music. That all good things take time...and perseverance...a lot of patience...and a lot of hard work!

Sometimes it can be very frustrating when we have to wait on others for our dream to take the next step closer to being realised. It shows that we do actually need other people to get where we want to go, even if it means that it may take longer to get there. It will probably end up being far better than we could have imagined, and hence, worthwhile in the end. The most important thing, I am learning in this instance, is that we have to stick to our guns and continue to play our part to the best of our ability. It can be tempting to either give up or just get incredibly frustrated while waiting for things to happen. But learning to overcome these feelings and remember the long term goal is what is necessary. 

Innate or habit?

As a teacher of many different age groups I have noticed a trend with all of my students, while playing a piece, that they should have practiced. When they make a mistake, they almost always want to go back to the beginning and start again. It can sometimes be a bit frustrating as a teacher, but I have been starting to analyze why this is such a trend. I do teach my students how to break down pieces when they practice, I also give them a new piece or sightreading most lesson, so that they become used to reading new music, but they all want to start at the beginning if they make one little mistake.

So, my question is, is it an innate thing that makes us want to have perfection? Or is it habit as human beings to strive for perfection, and so once you have made a mistake you need to wipe the slate clean and start again?

For those who are not musicians, the reason this can be a problem when playing through a piece or sightreading, is that it is important to move on and keep playing music even if you make a mistake. You might do so while performing one day, or playing with a band, and you certainly can't stop and go back and fix a mistake. Yes, while learning, you can then go back over the parts that you don't know so well, but that is a different exercise in itself.

The in-between state

I firmly believe that change is as good as a holiday, but as we say goodbye to our old home, we are not able to move directly to our new place, so the change feels delayed. Now that we are staying with my parents, I am able to focus on my current state of being, rather than just focusing on the next step and moving forward. While I was secretly dreading this in-between stage and had hoped to avoid it, I realise that it has been the most healthy thing for me, to stop and reflect on where my work journey and home life is going. It has been most refreshing. 

I am a doer, I dream and then I do my best to move in the direction I feel that dream is taking me. So it has been hard to have to stop and not feel like I am moving forward with our new venture, and having to wait has proven to be tougher than I thought.

The reflecting aspect has meant that I can see the dream in a broader context. I have been able to put certain things into perspective, but most significantly, I have felt affirmed that I am heading in the right direction in order to achieve my goals.

The most exciting thing however, is to see how much support I have had from both my students and friends, and the fact that my students are eager to get started with lessons again, proves to me that I am fulfilling my role with what I am actually offering as a music teacher. It tells me that my core roll in this industry is meaningful and worth something, and that is the nudge I have been needing to propel me to the next level. 

Careful what you say!

When I was still at school I used to do dancing. On one occasion during a lesson, I remember that I was standing with my arms crossed while my dancing teacher was explaining something to us. It was really just a comfortable position for me. When she noticed I had my arms crossed she reprimanded me and told me that neither I or any of the other girls in the class deserve to cross our arms. I'm not sure if she was reading it as being rude, but to this day, if I catch myself folding my arms, I feel bad and immediately shift them into some other position.

When I was even younger my first ballet teacher used to make comments about my big legs. She would say that I need to stand in a position to stop them from sticking out in front (like that made a difference). The one time she asked me if I did horse-riding because horse-riders have big bums. I shrugged it off at the time thinking that this woman must think I'm retarded or something. To think that I would not take offence. Because of what this woman said, I still have a huge complex about my legs. So what if I have 'dik bene', who cares?

When I was in high school I had a music teacher, well she wasn't my teacher. She was head of music and used examine us. She was always so very complimentary. I eventually learned that she would compliment all the time on everything. I later stopped listening to her compliments because they seemed false. Oddly enough, if my critical dancing teachers ever gave me a compliment it meant far more to me than if they were to always encourage.

These are just three silly examples, but they are ones that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I had actually forgotten about them, but I was aware of these issues and I was trying to find reasons for why these seemingly insignificant things (to other people), were such an issue for me. Then I was brought back to those moments in my life. They probably seemed like nothing to my teachers at the time, but they have affected my thinking for so long.

As a teacher I try to be incredibly encouraging, but what if it starts to mean nothing to my students?

What if I say something to my students that could be interpreted incorrectly and does lasting damage?

I know that we can't live our lives tip-toeing on eggshells, but I have come to realise that what we say as teachers can have a huge impact on our students. I'm sure our body language can also speak many words without us realising. So, be honest as a teacher. Praise when it is due, correct in a kind way. But be careful of what you say.