It's only May and so much has happened, so far, this year. I feel blessed beyond belief at how I have managed to get extra work here and there that has helped us make it through each month. So how is my music school going? Well, I wouldn't say that business is booming, but I have 6 committed students so far and I absolutely love teaching each of them. I am doing a lot of 'experimenting' with advertising, as I do want the business to grow. In the meantime, I have been able to make the room look a bit more like a teaching room with a music white-board. The board makes the room feel bigger, which I think is great.
While I do want to get more students, I also still want my students to feel that they are getting the best lessons possible and so I have to make sure that I do not over-commit to other work or in other areas of my life. I don't want to seem tired or distracted. With that being said, however the school where I work at part-time has offered me a bit more work for next term. I can't say what it is yet, but I am super excited. Also, with there being so many holidays in April and with examinations coming up, I realise that any extra income makes a huge difference.
So, do I have any regrets so far about going freelance? Not at all! While I certainly miss my students and working with such lovely people (especially two very special friends I made while there), nothing can make up for the peace that I have in my life now. I go to bed every night and wake up every morning without anxiety. And I sleep really well! I don't have this ever-present sense that there is something that needs to be done, or worse that there is something that I did not do correctly. Of course there are still things in my life, my school teaching and my business that need to be done, but I feel like I'm more in control of my life. I feel like I can do things and then tick them off and then relax. It really has made me so much happier, like an elephant of a weight has been lifted off me and I have bounced back into being human again and not just coping. Now I know this might sound ever so dramatic, but I really believe that you have to be a special kind of person to work full-time. Regardless of what school it is at which you are working. There is no perfect job, but I think in life, you have to weigh up what it is that you and your family need or want. One thing that I really want to live by is words from one of Switchfoot's songs "I want to thrive, not just survive". This is such a beautiful mantra, and yet it sparked much turmoil in me when I was still debating whether or not to go on my own. I think because there are so many people out there who have nothing and that I should be grateful for having a good job, and good opportunities. But the more I seeked council, prayed and debated what to do, the more unhappy I was in what I was doing and the bigger my desire grew to do other things. I came to realise that in this state, I was useless to anyone.
My one friend told me that God puts dreams on our hearts and that it can then only be a good thing to pursue them. So I prayed and prayed that if my desire was purely selfish, then it would go away, but it grew. Now I look back and I am so pleased for all the amazing people in my life who have supported me in this decision. I feel that I am thriving because I am able to connect with people again and that is the biggest blessing ever. I have truly amazing people in my life, and it feels so good to be able to hang out with them and appreciate them.
Being forced to work part-time at a school and supplement our income has been incredibly rewarding. I have met so many people. I think it has also been very healthy for me to get out of the house (since my private lessons are held in our home). I also filled in at the school for a full-time teacher, which was really nice because I was able to get to meet more of the staff.
I have joined the UCT Wind Ensemble and Windworx. Both have allowed me to be challenged and stretched but the best thing is that I am loving playing again.
I have also done some temp teaching at Pinelands North Primary School, which is the most delightful school ever. I have never felt so welcome at a school in such a short space of time. The students are lovely there and the school is so friendly.
I did an in-house commercial shoot with Old Mutual, which was quite an interesting experience and I played at a wedding in beautiful Stellenbosch.
My husband and I have been able to go to Betty's Bay over weekends without having to worry about me marking papers or having to be at rehearsal.
I feel like I am just rambling on now, but all-in-all things have been going well. I am happy with the way things are now and I am excited for things to come.
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