When I was still at school I used to do dancing. On one occasion during a lesson, I remember that I was standing with my arms crossed while my dancing teacher was explaining something to us. It was really just a comfortable position for me. When she noticed I had my arms crossed she reprimanded me and told me that neither I or any of the other girls in the class deserve to cross our arms. I'm not sure if she was reading it as being rude, but to this day, if I catch myself folding my arms, I feel bad and immediately shift them into some other position.
When I was even younger my first ballet teacher used to make comments about my big legs. She would say that I need to stand in a position to stop them from sticking out in front (like that made a difference). The one time she asked me if I did horse-riding because horse-riders have big bums. I shrugged it off at the time thinking that this woman must think I'm retarded or something. To think that I would not take offence. Because of what this woman said, I still have a huge complex about my legs. So what if I have 'dik bene', who cares?
When I was in high school I had a music teacher, well she wasn't my teacher. She was head of music and used examine us. She was always so very complimentary. I eventually learned that she would compliment all the time on everything. I later stopped listening to her compliments because they seemed false. Oddly enough, if my critical dancing teachers ever gave me a compliment it meant far more to me than if they were to always encourage.
These are just three silly examples, but they are ones that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I had actually forgotten about them, but I was aware of these issues and I was trying to find reasons for why these seemingly insignificant things (to other people), were such an issue for me. Then I was brought back to those moments in my life. They probably seemed like nothing to my teachers at the time, but they have affected my thinking for so long.
As a teacher I try to be incredibly encouraging, but what if it starts to mean nothing to my students?
What if I say something to my students that could be interpreted incorrectly and does lasting damage?
I know that we can't live our lives tip-toeing on eggshells, but I have come to realise that what we say as teachers can have a huge impact on our students. I'm sure our body language can also speak many words without us realising. So, be honest as a teacher. Praise when it is due, correct in a kind way. But be careful of what you say.
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