Consistency

I am so excited because life is good and even when things don't seem like they are going right, well, hindsight is 20/20 isn't it!?

Anyway, one of my great friends is in SA and soooo soon to be in Cape Town, I cannot wait for her to be here. Looking forward to lots of cups of tea and coffee as well as music-sharing with her (she's also a muso and is putting on a workshop and concert while she is here). She is also the best person to shop with because she is a similar size to me and knows my style better than I do, so that is that (although I will probably not be doing any purchasing lol, window shopping then!).

Then, in the last two weeks I have been able to catch up with awesome friends, teach my private students (which I love), clean house, get a massage (which was amazing and I can recommend), play more saxophone, play the keyboard at holiday club, bake, cook more interesting meals, hang out with my mom, crochet and get more perspective on life. Yet, the time seems to be slipping away and I feel that I still haven't managed to do everything that I had hoped to do. Little things creep up like having to get a new gas cylinder and then discovering that the washer for your heater regulator has somehow disappeared and the place that you get your refills doesn't stock them. Thankfully Mica Hardware does and it was easy and cheap to get. But in the story of life, unexpected things like that happen often and before you know it your list of things to do has not been accomplished. I even started writing 4 blog posts that I have not yet completed this last 2 weeks!!!

Anyhoo, I found this quote the other day:

I don't know how I came by it, but I liked it and I printed it out and stuck it inside my cupboard door. Then, after reading it every day I realised, that while this may be true, I liked it more because of the fact that if you could be consistent in all those things, then you can truly say you have integrity. But how broad of a statement is that really? I mean, if we are to speak about religion, because that is one of the biggest places that people shout 'hypocrisy', then I can honestly say, that while my beliefs have never changed, they are always growing as I am learning new things. Ok, maybe that one was a bad example to choose, because I probably haven't been consistent in most of those things at points in my life with regards to religion and outsiders may want to call me a 'hypocrite'. Hmm, ok so I can't think of an example to explain my point, but what I am trying to say, is that while consistency is good and important in life, I feel that we also need to remember that improving is always a good thing, and while striving to be consistent and in routine in things we do in life is important and will get us somewhere, we also have to be thinking of how we can 'up our game'.

I don't know if any of that made sense, but I have to go now. eek

Lost without my lists

I have always been somebody who has written lists of 'things-to-do'. Whether in my daily diary or on a scrap piece of paper, I have always had some form of list lurking about. But when this year began, my lists became more goal orientated and were bigger than what I could do in a week. So I started to put them aside and just get on with the things I felt needed to be done.

About 2 months ago, I found myself getting incredibly frustrated with myself because at the end of a full day of busyness, I couldn't remember what I had done and I had not achieved all that I had hoped to on that day. I felt a bit like a turkey running around in circles, not achieving much. I think this really baffled my husband because we had both been anticipating a time when I could do all the things that I wanted to and needed to in a day, and it had arrived. But I was still struggling to fit in everything.

The truth be told, I was wasting a lot of time on Youtube and Google doing 'research' for my business. We all know how this can start with good intentions, but then one thing leads to another and before you know it, you are watching a video on 'how to not flex your calf muscles' all the time and you realise that this has absolutely NO relation to what you set out to do.

While on my way so school one day, I was listening to the radio, (this is quite a new thing for me), SAFM, I think it was. There was a man talking about people who procrastinate. He spoke about how these people should write lists and cross off things as they go along, possibly putting the most important things lower on the list. This is because, us procrastinators actually want to get the last things done on the list first. Well, I'm not too sure about the order of how a person should put things on their lists, I don't think it really makes a difference for me, but it got me thinking about how I had not been doing this in a while and thought that perhaps that was why I was not achieving all I had hoped.

So I started keeping lists again, but I still found them a little too broad. I then decided to make a list every morning of the things that I felt I could fit into that day. Then as I have achieved whatever is on the list, I make a great big line through it.  This has been so rewarding, that I feel quite lost on days I choose not to write the list. So then I get started on my list and before you know it, I have done so many things. The strangest thing, is that sometimes the things on the list are what I would be doing anyway, like 'put on a load of washing, hang washing, fold washing' or 'teach so-and-so' or 'cook supper'. But I feel that because it is written down, I have done it and then crossed it off, I have achieved something. 

So, about these lists...

I am all for lists. Whether it's a 'to do' list, or in a person's blog, like a snapshot of things. I don't have a lot of time or patience to read a mini-essay, so a list is short and clear, and can get a point across quickly. I've even found those list that people are sharing either interesting or entertaining. But there is a limit to everything.

I don't usually go on facebook first thing in the morning, but since I'm waiting for someone to confirm a job that is like TOMORROW, I'm pretty determined to find out if it's happening or not. And because facebook has become the norm of communication these days, so be it. Anyway, of course I scroll down on the newsfeed, and the first thing that pops up is a beautiful picture of two friends who just had a baby this morning. And I'm thinking this is amazing, and this is what facebook is really for. So I' keep scrolling down and someone has shared

• 12 Things Successful People Do Before Breakfast 
• 12 Signs Being Ladylike is Not Your Forte
• Figure skating is so graceful and the skaters so lovely. Here are their faces to prove it… [27 pics]
• 32 Things You Learn Growing Up. Number 24 Is So True.
• Lego meets classical music: 8 amazing videos

Ok, so I cheated a little, because they aren't all lists, but this is all before 7:30 in the morning and not to mention all the random 'humour gags', then there is advert upon advert and after it all I feel like it's information overload and most of its useless anyway. Somehow, I think it's got out of hand, and if I really wanted to know what other people do before breakfast, I will ask. But I'd rather not know. 

There, I said my bit.

What do you get when a French teacher can't speak?

"Feelings, nothing more than feelings"...wait what?

Sometimes the sky is blue

Lately I have been reading quite a bit about how we should not let circumstances determine our feelings. I've also heard a few sermons recently running along a similar thread about how we need to continue to have faith in God regardless of what happens in our lives. In other words, regardless of what is happening, or how we feel, we need to hold steadfast onto what we believe. I'm not going to go into a long discussion about my beliefs (although I might do that one day), but this whole concept became incredibly real to me on Tuesday. Today is Thursday.

Anyway, it has been quite a while since I have had a 'bad day'. Everybody gets them. There is usually one catalyst of something 'bad' that happens and then a multitude of (often small) things that seem to continuously happen, building up until you manage to make it home and you curl up into bed. Or at least that's what you have been wanting to do. But, you know what I mean! There is almost always some 'rational‎' reason for how you are feeling.

Back to the point please? Monday was a lovely day, but on Tuesday I woke up and I felt tired. I tried to shake it off, but as the day went, I just felt flat, for no reason. It wasn't that I felt moody or irritable (there is definitely reason for those feelings), but I just felt bleh. Nothing bad had happened. Nobody looked at me skew. All my students were fine. We didn't have a heavy night on Monday. I didn't get stuck in traffic. There was no reason. Nothing to blame for how I was feeling. And that's when it hit me. It is not just that we let circumstances determine how we feel, it's that we can change how we feel for no particular reason. Somehow this was a huge paradigm shift for me. Maybe you are thinking 'but that's so obvious', or 'you're a woman' etc. I really don't know if this means anything to anybody else, but it really got me thinking. If I were to base everything I did or thought in my life on just my feelings, where would I be now?

It also got me thinking about how I respond to other people's feelings. But that is discussion for another time.

Let me know how you feel about this.