Teaching after becoming a parent

I have been a parent for almost 9 years. I blinked and time went by. But I have been a music educator for 19 years, and somehow that time has gone just as quickly. However, my first 10 years of teaching have been incredibly different to the latter, in a way  I never expected.

I have always had a passion for teaching music. Partly because I struggled in the beginning.  I felt that we needed more teachers who were willing to take things slowly, and explain things in different ways, as everyone learns differently. I had incredible patience and enthusiasm, I dreamt of having my own music school, to reach more students and to grow opportunities. I honestly never thought my passion would dissipate, I thought it would always be there and perhaps even grow, and then I became a mother. 

Perhaps my passion never left, but it certainly changed. My brain became hyper-focused on keeping a human being alive, always. It's something no one can truly explain, and yet every new mom feels hard done by because no managed to convey they depths of this new way of being. We think we know, but one can never imagine correctly. I'm sure it's different for everyone for many different reasons, of which I could spend a lot of time going into, but this isn't a parenting blog, it's a music teaching blog.

Needless to say, it's been a journey. I now have 2 young boys, the youngest is 5 and I finally feel like a fog has lifted. Their needs are very different now, still all consuming, but different. My focus has taken a detour. I have come to realize that my love and passion for music and teaching is still there. Music is still there. It never left. And I'm still able to convey this joy through my lessons.

After all this, I think the lesson that I'm trying to convey is that it's ok to deviate from the plan in life. I never betrayed music, although I felt I was distracted and wasn't giving it my all, it's ok to do things differently, it's ok to plod along through the fog, because you will come out the other end. It may look different now, but I learnt so many lessons through it and I think I'm far more open to learning many more. And I'm also far more accepting that there is always more to learn and that I am better for being willing and open to it.